Heavy Butter

I've been meaning to get round to writing this blog and I keep telling myself that today is the day I will start it, well, today is the day. Let's kick thing off with a recap of last years goals, I'll work through them in the order they were written: - Soaps: If you don't know by now, I released my soaps early last year and, thankfully, they've been a huge success. Though I've had some issues keeping them in stock regularly, they've been selling extremely well. - My Own Space: I finally signed a lease on my own office in November and it couldn't have come at a more crucial time! I was about to move house and wouldn't have had the room to work in the new place so when I found my office, aptly named "The Longhouse", I felt extremely lucky! I now have the space to work and expand my business - more on that to come! - 2/3 More Scents: Last year I released The Aurora Borealis and Ragnarok to my permanent range as well as Odin's Sacrifice to my limited edition range. I was so hapy with how these scents turned out as, like all of my scents, I worked on them for a very long time. - Moustache Wax: Yeah, sorry about that... This one got put on the back burner as my focus was on getting the office and doing bigger events. It's on the list for this year though! - Expand The Ladies Range: I released the Body Butter and brought it with me to trade stands, despite forgetting to plist it on my website until January... I still did it though! I did want to get one more product out but as with the moustache wax, other things took precedent so it's on the list for this year. This year Now that that's out of the way, we can move on to my goals for 2025. Here's the problem, though; aside from the small things mentioned above that I didn't get round to last year, I don't actually have any plans for this year. I'm fast approaching the 6 year mark of The Bald Viking and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. Each year I've strived to do more and more like release new scents, create new products, do my first trade stand, do bigger events but I'm now at the point where all those ideas I had in my head, from years ago, have all been done. Take the products, for example. I have 12 scents in oil, butter and balm. That's a lot! I know there's companies out there with a ridiculous amount of scents but I don't want to oversaturate my own business. My scents are one point about my business that set me apart from the rest - they're inspired. Instead of buying pre made scents to mix with my base or simply throwing two ingredients together and calling it the next best thing, I create my scents through inspiration from stories or places. It takes me a long time to create a new scent for a couple of reasons; I want to make sure it's as accurate as possible to the idea I had in my head and I also can't control when inspiration strikes. My scents, as well as my products as a whole, are successful because I've always made them the same way and if I stray from that "ethos", The Bald Viking won't be the same. Which is why I'll never do that, thankfully. With regards to trade stands and always striving to do bigger and better events, I'm at a bit of an impasse. I did Bloodstock last year and it was the most successful event I've done. I also have my big Christmas markets that I do and they go incredibly well for me, I even have regular customers who attend those events and seek me out because the gifts they got from me the previous year were very well received - Always amazing to see this! The problem with the big events is that the bigger they are, the more expensive they are to do. Not just the pitch fee either, which can often be extortionate, it's the stock cost to be covered for the event, the accommodation if it's away from home, the food while you're there and so on. As a small business, money is a big problem. I didn't pay myself again at the end of January because I had so much to pay out for after the Christmas rush. I needed to stock up on ingredients, tins and bottles, equipment for the office and then of course some of the trade stands I have booked for this year required deposits - always a killer! So for now, Bloodstock is about as big as I can afford to go. This doesn't mean that I won't be striving to do more though. This year, I think, will be about maintaining the level I'm at and growing where I can. If I repeat what I did last year with the big events I know I'm covered in that area. With the smaller events, I could look at doing the same or similar to ones I did last year but try to do them in different areas. Fortunately the one thing I do have this year that I didn't last year, is time. With my office, I now have more time to be able to work, keep stocked up, get orders out, plan events and get round to doing the main thing I've been meaning to do for a while - content. A necessary evil for businesses these days is to create content, something to keep your audience interested and attract new customers. I've made a couple of videos recently but I'm no videographer so they're nothing special. I'm hoping that if I just carry on I'll find my little niche and be able to post some engaging content... time will tell. The Plan I do have a few things in mind for this year and one of the main things is that I'd like to pay myself a salary every month - already fucked that - and if possible, take a little extra a couple times when I can afford to. When I say "salary" I'm not talking big money, I have a salary set at £750 per month and the extra I'm talking about, if I'm lucky, would be about £250. Bit of a shock? Yeah it's well below minimum wage but when growing a company from nothing, this is one part of the shit that you have to go through. Last year it was looking more likely that I'd be able to pay myself properly but then of course I needed a place to work so I had to add rent on to my budget. I digress, enough of the rambling and back to what you came to hear to read. While writing the above, I've had a few ideas of things I'd like to do this year: - Pay myself: I've already fucked January and I doubt I'll be able to pay myself this month either but if all goes well later this year, I might be able to take out the extra and make up for what I've missed from this period. - Collaborations: I'd love to get some collaborations going, maybe 2 to start with. Collaborating with other businesses, public figures and others that fit the profile would be an amazing thing to do. Business-wise, it's something that would further my reach and hopefully bring in a little more money but it would also be something different to add to my store. I say "different", it would still be beard products but branding wise, it would be different and bring a little more variety. - A more well known brand: Time to be big headed here. My products are well regarded already, my business is known by my customers to be trustworthy with excellent customer service and great quality products. My reviews on Google and the feedback emails I get reflect this and are always lovely to read. I'm still small though. Of course as a small business I most definitely am "small" but I want The Bald Viking to be known to every bearded man in the UK. I want tattooists to reach out about stocking my Tattoo Butter and I want my other products to get the recognition they deserve. None of this will happen in a year but I can at least make a start. - Trade Stands in more areas: Getting around to more areas where I haven't been before will be a great start to the point above. If I can sell my products in those areas I could gain repeat custom from those that see me there and any recommendations they make to others will also help. Let's Get Cracking Ok so I have a bit of a plan, the rest I'll just wing. I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing and somehow try to do more at the same time... if that's possible? I don't know, I'll work it out. Hopefully. So that's what I'm doing for 2025 and hopefully the aims I've listed above will start to work out too. I hope to see some of you at my trade stands this year whether it's a farmers market, a Christmas fair or Bloodstock. You're always welcome! If you're reading this as someone who may want to stock my products, please get in touch! If you're someone that thinks a collaboration with me sounds like a good idea, please reach out too!

I'll start this blog by saying Happy New Year to you all! I hope this year provides you with everything you've worked hard for and I look forward to hearing how it goes for you. For me, I have a plan as you can see above but first, a little recap is required: As you may know from previous blogs I went full time with The Bald Viking in January last year and it went downhill quickly. It's something I refer to as the "Shea Butter Saga" but I won't bore you with the details - you can read about that here . Essentially, I spent the year unemployed despite working as hard as I could. It was a struggle. I was surviving off of the little bits of cash I was able to get from trade stands that I'd done and in May I paid myself a dividend of £500 - That was it for the year. Money had stopped coming in earlier in 2022 before I decided to go full time with this. Sure The Bald Viking was paying for some bits that I was able to put through the books like fuel and insurance for my truck, bits of food here and there when I was away at trade stands (and the odd small tattoo - Hey, it's advertising!) but apart from that, I was living off of credit cards. I'm certain you know that's a very dangerous thing to do but as I had no other option, I dug myself a very big hole. I was doing everything I could to bring in more money like doing as many trade stands and events as I could but in a cost of living crisis, there was only a small number that actually worked for me. Sales started to pick up towards the end of the year, especially as I pushed myself by doing some big, multiple day Christmas markets. The business was doing very well but that didn't mean it was money in my pocket. The more products I sold brought higher restocking costs, the travel and accommodation that was required for most of the events meant further expenses and don't even get me started on the trade stand fees! A lot of money went out over Christmas so I wasn't left with a lot but it did put me in a good position to set myself up for the future. Before this point I'd never had "enough" money in the account for everything I needed. I was missing a few bills here and there because I thought I had enough money to cover everything but another expense would pop up unexpectedly, leaving me to hope I'd make some sales to make that money up. With the money that came in over Christmas though, I was able to leave a float in the account. This means I should always have enough to cover all of the main bills and expenses and I've even been able to set myself up a small salary to pay myself each month! Nothing fancy as it keeps me under the tax threshold - perks of being self employed - but it's regular income that should help. If I have a good month and have more than the float left in the account, I can pay myself a little dividend which will be nice too. Of course, if I have a bad month, I may not even be able to pay myself the salary so it's swings and roundabouts. I'm hoping that all of the work I put in last year, especially over Christmas, will see me getting more regular orders and keep that money coming in to allow me to keep going. Now, I'm no longer "unemployed" but I can't deny that struggle hasn't impacted me personally. There's been a lot of ups and downs... The debt is one of the main things that's been looming over me and keeping me in a shit place, I've been introduced to some personal mental health issues and I've put on a lot of weight... With everything that's gone on I've been too busy or just not in the right headspace to look after myself and it's just spiralled. That just makes everything worse too. So this brings me to my own personal New Years Resolutions! I haven't listed them out properly because there's no particular order to how I want to approach them. I've been working on the MH shit with therapy though I feel like that's only made it worse. I'm waiting to be put on medication to see if that helps but only time will tell. I'm taking steps to work on the debt so that it's not a constant worry and I'm finally starting to take care of myself too. I'm sticking (loosely) to a diet plan that I'm hoping to get more strict with as I progress and I've started exercising again. As I write this, I've only been to the gym once so far and have been on a run - it doesn't sound like a lot but it's more than I've done in a very long time and it feels good. I'm also trying to give up vaping... I made the switch from smoking to vaping many years ago and that was easy but trying to stop vaping is proving very difficult. We'll see how that goes. I'm hoping that working on all of the above will put me in a much better position to be able to deal with everything life throws at me. Once the debt is out of the way, the little money I'm getting from the business will go a lot further and that's one more positive thing. The Business It's about time I got to the business plan I posted above. I say "business plan" but it's more just a list of things I need to get done. The soaps were on the list last year but with everything that happened with the Shea Butter Saga, it got pushed back by a lot. I made good progress in December and now have a batch that's nearly ready to go as well as another batch that I poured today. I'm hoping these will be ready for release later this month or at the very least, early February. I'm planning to release 2 more scents to my permanent line up as well one more seasonal scent to be released around August, this will be a charity collaboration. For the permanent scents, I've got ideas that I've had written down for a while. I just need to pull my finger out and get started - I'm hoping these will be released by April. They will be different from my other scents but will compliment my range well. Moustache Wax is something I've wanted to have for a while and have been asked a fair few times for it so it's about time I got that done. In all honesty, this should be fairly easy to achieve. I pretty much stumbled across a good formula when I was doing trial and error for my balms. All I need to do now is a bit more trial and error and I should be good. I want to expand my ladies range as well because, at the moment, I can't really call it a "range" when there's only one product... I won't give anything away just yet but I have ideas for 2 more products that will still be all natural. Now, my own space. I've been waiting to do this for a while now but there was some set backs with the spaces I'd seen. Mainly structural issues that the landlord hadn't seen and then the problems came with the repair costs. It was probably good that I didn't go for that place at the time because, even if it was structurally sound, I probably couldn't have afforded it. Now that I'm in a better position I've been looking again and have found a potential space that would work very well. Actually it would work better than expected but I don't know if I can have it yet. I'm still waiting to hear back about it as I asked just before Christmas and had a chat with the owner. Even though the conversation sounded promising, nothing is set in stone. I am hoping this one works out though because it will give me the space I need to work as well as space for a bit more... Updates to come! Nothing good comes without a lot of effort so I'll continue to work as hard as I can. Having my own space to work from away from home will allow me to get more done and bring these ideas for new products to fruition. I'm hoping that the new product releases will bring more sales, more sales means I can pay myself more and paying myself more means I can work on the debts. Working on the debts will help me clear my head a bit and get me in a better place, being in a better place will help me continue to work on myself and give me the motivation I need to keep pushing. And just like that, it could all come together! Well, there's my grand plan for 2024. I'm hoping to get a lot done this year but I know some of it, the more personal bits, may take a bit longer. I'm determined to see it all through though and putting it all here for you to see helps me feel a little more accountable for it. If I don't do it then I haven't just failed myself, I'll fail you too. If you've read this far, thank you. When I started writing these blogs I didn't expect anyone to read them but I've had a lot of messages about them which is great to see. So if you read this and are planning on making some changes/improvements in your life, feel free to send me a message. I'm always happy to talk and if I can help you in any way, I'll do what I can. Have a great year.

I wanted to do this blog post earlier in the year, maybe a couple of months after going self employed to report back on how I was finding it. Shit went tits up though and I had some major set backs so I find myself writing this now, much later than I wanted. Now it’s still too early to tell if I’ve made the right decision here, if all this will work out and I'll be able to support my family or if I’ve completely fucked it and am now stuck… but I feel it’s still worthy of a little reflection. Making this decision was something I’d been thinking about for a while and was ultimately forced in to it - You’ll see why in a moment! Heads up, this will be a long one. Let’s go back shall we... The Past The start of my career was based mainly within law enforcement. I joined the Metropolitan Police as a Special Constable in 2015, working in my free time with a view to join as a Police Constable a couple of years later. My main job at the time was at an engineering company in an operator’s role earning £8 an hour. It was boring but it gave me the easy life of a Monday to Friday allowing me to pursue what I believed to be my “dream” on evenings and weekends - Always been grinding! Once I started in the Met I quickly found out about the role of Detention Officer in Police Custody and applied for it as soon as it was advertised. It took a while to go through the application process so in the meantime I put a lot more time in to my Police work. In July 2017 I started as a Detention Officer and towards the end of 2018 I realised that being a Police Officer wasn’t going to be for me. This was most likely because I was now spending a minimum of 12 hours a day in custody then “Policing” on my rest days. I’d seen everything at this point and though I’ve always loved helping people, putting myself in harms way to protect someone or just being there as a preventative measure, there was more that changed my mind. Politics, policies and attitudes both inside and outside of the Police were the main cause. Officers have to set themselves on fire and jump through hoops while juggling just to do something simple. It takes a lot of time and work, each action is met with both positivity and negativity, the workloads pile up, all this and a fuck load more. It causes a lot of stress amongst officers and impacts their family and social lives which is something I didn’t want to happen, especially as we were expecting our first child at the time. At this point I resigned as a Special Constable and freed up my spare time outside of my main job. So I’d decided to stay in Custody. The role was a mix of day and night shifts on a rolling pattern but it allowed for 4-5 days off between sets and was good money. As always though, I found myself looking for other jobs outside of the Police. I applied for a few but never got anywhere. I’d heard about roles in Border Force being good money and as I had experience in this sector I felt like I had a chance so in 2019 when they opened recruitment again, I sent in my application. Of course we then had that little thing called covid which fucked everything and I didn’t get an interview with Border Force until April 2021. Things still took a while but I eventually started training in November 2021. And let’s not forget that I started The Bald Viking in 2019 too! The Not So Distant Past To The Present I was now an Immigration Officer. I started at Heathrow Terminal 5 in January 2022 and though I went in to this job knowing it was going to be fucking boring, I wasn’t prepared for the shitshow it actually was. Before I applied, I’d spoken to people I used to work with who were now in Border Force to get an idea of the role, the hours and all that shit. The role was mundane and tedious but it paid well so I decided to go for it. The hours and shift pattern I’d been told about before I applied sounded good, it wasn’t until I was in the middle of training that I was informed they’d changed the shift pattern during covid and it was now absolutely shit. From what I remember being told, it used to be 7 or 8 hour shifts working 5 days out of 7 on a weekly rota. Heathrow was always going to be a 2 hour commute each way for me but with shorter shifts it would have been manageable. The new rota was 4 days out of 7 but 10 or 11 hour shifts. There were 3 main shifts available with a bit of variety in them but they were essentially earlies, lates and nights. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? It fucking was. Allow me to explain. The earlies were usually 5am starts and finished around 3pm, the lates started around 12pm and finished after 11pm then the nights started at 9pm and ran until 7am. It still wouldn’t be too bad if you started on an early, did a couple of lates and ended on a night but that’s not how they did things. Oh no! When I said you worked 4 out of 7 days, that wasn’t 4 in a row, they’d be broken up throughout the week. Over the course of a year you had to work a certain amount of weekends and a certain amount of nights. It would have been ok if you could choose a shift pattern to suit you but that wasn’t allowed so you ended up having a random set of shifts throughout the week. I’ll give you an example of the usual week I’d have: Sunday would be a night shift so I left home at 7pm to start at 9, finished at 7 and got home just after 9am on the Monday, sometimes 10am depending on the traffic as I had to go on the M25. I’d sleep until about 1pm, maybe 2pm if I got back later. On Tuesday I’d be starting at 5am which meant I was up at 2am and left at 3am. I’d finish around 3pm, get stuck in traffic and get home closer to 6. Let’s pause here for a second! I finished a night shift and got home around 9am then slept until 2pm at the latest, a healthy 5 hours of sleep! From the point I woke up I had 12 hours before I had to get ready for my early shift the next day. The kids didn’t go to bed until 8 or 9pm so that was the latest I could try to sleep, never did get to sleep that early though! If I was lucky it was usually 11pm or midnight before I got to sleep allowing me to have an even healthier 2-3 hours of sleep before work. If I was really lucky I might have the Wednesday off then a night shift on the Thursday and a late shift on the Saturday before starting again on the Sunday. I barely had a social/family life outside of work and whenever I did have that quality time, I was always tired. It didn’t take long before I started falling asleep while driving to and from work. Once or twice was a coincidence, I was tired and it was expected. When it happened 6 or 7 times I realised there was a problem so I went to the doctors. I described my shift pattern and the commute and they immediately signed me off work and referred me to a sleep clinic as they believed I had sleep apnea. There was a few other things that lead them to believe this, mainly being a fat cunt, but the lack of sleep due to work was the main concern. After 3 months of working here I reapplied for my old job in Custody as well as a ridiculous amount of jobs on Indeed. Jobs that I was under qualified for, a lot that I felt I was over qualified for and many more at my skill level. I heard nothing back. What Do I Do With All This Free Time? I was now at home, spending all my time with my family, doing everything I wanted/needed to do and it was wonderful. I had full pay for the first month then it went down to a reduced payment. It took a long time before I got the referral to the sleep clinic and I eventually went down to statutory sick pay. We were struggling a bit financially at this point but I didn’t want to risk falling asleep at the wheel again so I was holding out to get my old job back and decided to start doing trade stands as well. That’s a whole other story but some of my past blogs are about trade stands so make sure to check them out! Since starting The Bald Viking I’d always wanted to end up doing it full time, I just didn’t know when that time would come. Trade stands brought that time closer and when I had a very successful Christmas market in November 2022, that time moved closer still. In December I was informed that the statutory sick pay was going to end leaving me in a shit situation and with no luck finding any other jobs (I’d applied for over 70 while all this was going on, got one interview, unsuccessful!) I had no choice but to make that decision and go full time. But Cal, what about your old job in Custody? Ahh, you'll see. My last hope was to get my old job back. I'd applied online, gone through the whole recruitment process and was waiting for the vetting. I hadn't heard anything for a while so I called them to ask for an update. They told me they were still waiting for 1 of the 3 references I'd supplied them with. The 2 that were done were both in the Met; 1 Sergeant and 1 Inspector. They still needed the reference from my Border Force supervisor though. This is where it gets interesting. The supervisor I was assigned to when I started barely spoke to me. I got a couple of emails full of unnecessary shit from him and that was pretty much it. After being there 3 months this guy disappeared, I couldn't get hold of him through phone or email, asked other officers and no one had heard from him or knew where he was. He could have died, gone off the grid, became a mole person or anything. Fuck knows what happened to him but I was unable to get that reference. While I was signed off I got assigned to a new supervisor so I told Met recruitment about this. Informed them of the disappearance of my old supervisor and asked them to email the new supervisor for the reference. They said they couldn't do it... When I asked them why, they told me they needed the reference from the referee I'd given on my application. I confirmed with them that this dude may be dead and they told me it didn't matter, he's the one they need the reference from. Baring in mind I'd only left this job a couple a few months before reapplying and had a Sergeant and an Inspector both still in the Met who'd already given references, they said the application could not progress without the one from Border Force. So that plan was dead. How fucking stupid. The Present So here we are, apologies for taking a while to get to this point but I wanted to give you a good idea of what was going on. What I’ve written here is fuck all compared to the amount I wanted to write but I didn’t think you’d appreciate a novel for a blog post. In January I announced I was going full time with The Bald Viking, making the jump and becoming self employed. That's when it all went tits up although I hadn't seen that yet. I started by planning out the year; I committed to another regular market at Potters Bar, confirmed a regular spot at the Welwyn Garden City farmers market as I'd done a couple there already, booked a few multiple day trade shows, got more ideas for new products down on paper and got to work stocking up as much product as I could because the quiet months were the best time to do that. My online sales grew a hell of a lot from last year so thank you for that! With markets and trade events not really kicking off until March I really needed that boost. My first trade stand of the year was The Peculiar Market in Welwyn Garden City on 4th March, I was really excited to be back, did really well that day and sold a lot of products! Two days later I got an email about a potential quality issue. A new customer had generously bought all 6 butters from me at the trade stand, I'd spent a lot of time talking to him about anything and everything and was excited to see what he thought of my products. He told me that 2 of them were fine but the other 4 were very grainy. Now at this point I hadn't seen what was going on and assumed that it was the typical "summer graininess" and that maybe the tins had been in the sun or something. I gave him advice on how to melt them down and set them again but a week later I had another email from him saying they went bad again. The next day I got 2 more messages from other customers with the same problem and that's when I realised something was going on. The Shea Butter Saga I began checking through all of my butters and found that all of them had changed consistency to what could only be described as "damp sugar". Coarse, crystallised and absolutely unusable - I had no idea what was going on. Now my flat is always ridiculously warm and I thought that maybe the butters had warmed up too, wether that was from the heat in the flat or the sun coming through the window, I couldn't be sure. I spent a long time melting down each tin then setting them in the fridge before placing them in a cool box instead of on the usual shelf. For a couple of days they looked fine so I began sending products out again. A couple days later and I found them going bad again. I melted them down once more and did some tests by leaving the tins in different areas around the flat. No matter where they were placed they all went bad. It was at this point that I found the balms and Tattoo Butter were affected too, though different results due to different ingredients/formulas. I realised that these tins I spent a long time making to prepare for market season were completely useless and couldn't be saved. Over £4,000 worth of stock in the bin. This is where I really started to worry. After doubting myself, my methods, my process and everything else I realised it must be an ingredient. There were only 5 ingredients I used that were present in all types of products that went bad so I started replacing them one at a time. Mango Butter was the last ingredient I had to replace and I jumped the gun in assuming that was the problem. I'd replaced Shea Butter the day before and the test batch produced with that looked fine - it wasn't though, it just took a good few days for the quality to deteriorate. So eventually I found it was Shea causing my problems. I got on to my supplier about it and they refused to acknowledge there was an issue. I began to notice a pattern in the bad products at this point, there was always a dip in the middle of the tin and a ring around the edge showing signs of separation. I purchased more shea butter from a different supplier and when I opened the tub I noticed a big dip in the middle with a grainy texture around it. I had a feeling that this was going to be bad quality too and I confirmed my suspicions when I made another test batch. This went on for a while. I went through 5 different suppliers trying both organic and non-organic shea, going back and forth with the suppliers about the quality, each one denying any problems. Each tub I opened looked exactly the same and I could tell the products would go bad - unfortunately I was always right. The worst part about this is that it only seemed to be me who was affected by this. Other companies use shea and no one was saying they had an issue. Eventually I found another company who experienced similar issues, they used a lot of different ingredients but only had problems with the products containing shea! When I posted an update on Instagram about this I then had other people coming forward saying that they'd seen a difference in quality from other companies they'd bought products from. Apparently those companies denied any quality issues though... At this point I'd spent over £1,000 buying more shea, tins other ingredients to conduct tests and make up test batches etc. I was broke and it wasn't looking good. I lost a lot of sleep over this shit and honestly it was fucking me up. The company I had built from nothing and turned in to something great, was now reduced to nothing again - at least that's how I saw it. I had a last resort plan that then became the only plan and that was to swap out shea for something else. I wasn't sure what I could swap it for to have the same quality, texture and affect that my products had before all of this, so I got to work again and eventually landed on Kokum Butter. It had everything I needed but it was more than twice the price of shea, a price I was more than happy to pay to get back to normal. As soon as the Kokum arrived I made test batches with all 3 types of products and was happy with the results. I kept them on the table for a week, in the warm to see how they'd be affected and they held up great. Eventually I began restocking my products as fast as I could and only finished that last week... We're in July now, 7 months later. The Hopeful Future Last night I delivered the final replacement product I had to send out. You see, during all this shit I was sending replacement products to people who purchased the bad quality ones from me. I didn't realise the replacements were shit too so I ended up replacing the replacements! Anyway, I've had enough of dwelling on the past. I worked hard, got through it and I'm happy to see the end of it. Now I can focus on growing my business properly and kicking off this self employed venture how I'd originally planned. Fresh start? I'd love to! So now the main reason for this blog: What's it like going self employed? Well if we pretend this shea issue never happened and forget that fact I've only paid myself £500 this year, it's not too bad! I'm working a lot more now, every day with constant messages, emails, social media, product making, testing, designing, deliveries, trade stands and everything else you can think of. All this is separated though, broken up throughout the day. I'm working from home but I can pick and choose when to do what I need to get done. This way I can see my family more. I now take my son to school and/or pick him up near enough every day, I'm always there for dinner and to get them to bed and I have evenings to myself too. Financially, it's a struggle at the moment but I see glimpses of light and I know it's going to get better. I could have been there already had it not been for all of that shea bullshit but I'm hoping next year will be a fresh start. I've set myself up for a good Christmas period that I'm hoping will carry me through and set me up again for next Christmas, I'll be releasing new products, adding new services and just get through everything like I always do. If you're thinking of going self employed and have something you can jump in to, you should go for it. All those things you're worried about will work themselves out, trust yourself and make it work. Don't get me wrong it is scary to even think about it, you need to plan for it going well and have back ups in case it doesn't, plus some extras in case you get side tracked! If you can set yourself a good plan going forward, you'll be able to work it out if something goes tits up. Just maybe don't do anything involving shea butter... Well that was a big old fucking blog, I'm glad to be at the end now and I'm sure you are too! Hopefully this has explained why I went full time and has given you a good perspective if you're in a similar situation. My journey went downhill pretty much as soon as it started but I'm fighting my way through, I hope yours will be a lot smoother and all uphill! One last thing I need to mention here is all the support I had from my customers. Not to sound big headed but I like to think I provide excellent customer service and I pride myself on that. I've been told many times that my customer service is outstanding and I think this is why I got so much support. I'm telling you this because it's important, don't underestimate the power of great customer service. If you're an arsehole, you'll be treated as such. Be a nice person and I find that the karmic powers that be will help you out when you need it. I had a few low points during all this shit but then I'd get a message from a customer saying something simple like "Thank you for keeping us updated with everything, looking forward to seeing the products back soon" and that kept me going. With whatever you do, if you provide a great service it will provide for you too. Thank you.